So here is my current struggle. My mind. I say current, but really mean constant, ongoing, never ending, struggle. Why is it so stinking hard to think on what is, to quote Paul from Philippians 4:8, "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about these things." My mind that I am called to love my LORD GOD with, is constantly battling thoughts of yuck, irrelevant, meaningless junk!
Prime example, lately I have not been sleeping well. It takes me forever to fall asleep and then I often wake up and just lay there thinking about lame stuff. Last night I woke up at 1:30a or so, and was up until...2:30 maybe. My mind was just on, going...about nothing. I am thinking about this upcoming school year...but I can put that aside...stuff just creeps in and I play it out for hours. I am tired.
I just want to think on HIM and HIM alone. I do have days when this happens and all is so, so good. I can talk to and train up my children like I am called. I love my husband like I am called. I get my "job" done at home, cooking, cleaning etc. But lately it has just been a battle. I think I have a solution. Ephesians 6:10-18 calls me to put on my full armor of GOD...which just happens to include a helmet of salvation and my sword of the SPIRIT. And rely on the grace that GOD so willingly lavishes on me. I am not and cannot be perfect. HE knows that my thoughts are going to stray, HE knows that I will come back to HIM in all things...and HE is patient to wait for me so when I fall, HE is right there to pick me up. Hallelujah!
Hopefully I will get sleep tonight...Hebrews 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on JESUS..." as long as my mind is there...I should be alright :)
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